Original Radioactive Jam

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Thursday, May 12, 2005

Way-Loud Car Tunes, Impotence Linked

Grad student research uncovers all kinds of interesting stuff. Case in point: an apparent link between frequent exposure to bone-rattling, high volume car stereos and impotence in young and middle-aged males. Yet another cause for impotence, just what we need.

You: What is "sarcasm?" Alex: Correct.

What does this mean? Simply put, that guy down the street with the ultra-expensive, megawatt system jammed into the trunk of his Honda? One day - long before he's old and decrepit - he's going to start experiencing "sexual dysfunction." As in, Can't Get It Up. And the research isn't encouraging about things getting better, either. Not good, dude!

I wasn't able to get much detail; it's currently unpublished. Something about certain energetic frequencies, resonance and gradual, possibly irreversible deterioration of male sex glands.

So you might want to turn that down some, dude, before your gonads do a slow fade and leave you hanging...limp.

Good luck with that, eh.

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