Dear Dead Friends / An Open Letter

late again
How many years since you left the land of the living? At least five for Rockie, could be ten or twelve for Bill. Much has happened during this time, but some things haven't changed. There's still no cure for AIDS, and little understanding for people afflicted with it (or at risk).

In so many ways, I was an idiot. Insensitive? Maybe just clueless. We were friends; I cared about you...but found it too easy to stay out of contact. No doubt you felt little if any sense of loss, not hearing from me. Despite the distance between us - some emotional, most physical - I was still taken by surprise.

Bill, you were already dead when I finally called to say hello; I didn't even know you were leaving. Nothing I could have done either way, I guess. While I wished I had called a year or two earlier, I grieved for those close to you. I was just an out-of-touch friend from long ago.

Rockie - I still don't know anyone quite like you, and I really miss talking with you. Recently I listened to an entire opera on CD, Massenet's Thais, first time for me. You'd have made some wisecrack - here I'm thinking, "About time, buddy" or "I suppose you want an award," - and then you'd tell me things I needed to hear.

Hoping you get a chance to do so, someday. Until then I'll do my best, try to not be an idiot, take care of what's been entrusted to me.

And sometimes, deeply miss the two of you.

God knows...