And Proud of it, Man!

I hate when this happens
Somehow I missed this test on my earlier visit.

Seeing this result produces strangely mixed feelings. While taking the test I considered picking the most loser-like answers just to see how bad I'd score. Instead I decided to go with honest answers.

And what did the results page say about my score? "You are a loser baby, there are only a few who out-lose you!" Fortunately I have near-indestructible self-esteem, able to survive way worse abuse than this. Yeah!

Still...maybe you could take this test and report back with your score. I understand if you score lower than me you might feel bad for me; that's okay. I'll still find some way to make fun of you. And I promise to say I feel really bad if you score higher. Fair enough?

Anticipation Pt. 2

Guess where I went this morning?
1 visit, 2 donuts, 4 tickets. Woohoo!
(Friday update) Still anticipating (i.e. urge to scratch held in abeyance). Does this seem more abnormal than my usual? I'm not sure.

Spamments: trick, or treat?

Anticipation Pt. 1

40-mile drive for midnight show: not. Current plan: extended lunch Friday.

Radioactive D'Oh!

delicious delicacies
While the title could be the main ingredient for delicious radioactive donuts, this is not the case here. In this context, "D'oh!" is how I reacted when made aware I'd forgotten to mention an important (and d'oh! known) September birthday: A's on Sept. 18th.

Belated greetings, my most deserving friend. Enjoy!

Party Time!

phwooooooot! phwooooooot!
Earlier this month we announced several September birthdays. One such birthday person commented, "I expect a cake." Anaglyph, I'm sure this exceeds your expectations; happy birthday, mon!
Cate and Jen - there's a slice of cake here for you too. Sorry it's late, but I wanted to surprise the typically all-knowing Cow. Enjoy yourselves; I'm off to find a less virtual cake for Radioactive Son.

Vehicular Fuelishness

anybody want a peanut? -- fezzik
Out with the jacked-up Old (18-20 mpg)...
In with the... um, down-to-earth slightly less old (35-40+ mpg)
Will someone please explain why driving at lugnut height burns less fuel?

The View From Here

like, far out man
Here's a photo of the car I expect to buy today, at its soon-to-be-former owner's home.
Via Google Earth. Is that cool or what?

Pzulk Vortices

I prefer yoghurt to yogurt, but that's just the vodka talking
Nothing to say, really. Just wanted an excuse to mention "pzulk vortex"* in a post.

* pzulk is Jen's brainchild; blame Anaglyph for the vortex part.

Fun With Numbers

Marvin was right, this will all end in tears
My work phone rang today. This is such an unusual event I almost missed the call. Seriously. I've had maybe five calls this year. Cell phone calls every day, emails out the wazooty, but the work phone is a dust collector and that's not a Bad Thing. This call however was. Bad. Sort of.

In short - American Express called to see if I made a $999. charge to someplace in Russia, dated yesterday the 19th. Arrrh, the irony: Talk Like A Pirate Day and the pirates attack! Apparently a credit card number has been compromised; first time on my watch, on my ship. Blast! Don't these keelholes understand it's Talk Like, not Act Like?!

Methinks there'll be no permanent damage. Charge gets voided, old card dies, new card takes its place. Now all I have to do is FIND OUT HOW this happened. Curse the scurvy bilge rats!

Yes I realize Talk Like A Pirate Day has passed. Under the circumstances I think I'm entitled.

I am grateful for AmEx vigilance. I hardly use that card and might have gone weeks without checking the account.

What's the pirate word for D'Oh!

A Few Moments

Arrh!
Sept. 19 update: aye matey, be sure'n scrawl a comment or three today for our pirate-talkin' friends arrh!round the world.

Probably you've seen or heard the line from Beverly Donofrio's Riding In Cars With Boys: "One day can make your life; one day can ruin your life. All life is is four or five big days that change everything." But my most powerful memories are of moments, not days. Sometimes the moments fell within Change Everything kinds of days, though not always. Some examples:

• Looking into my best friend's eyes and saying "I do"
• Free-falling from 13,000 feet
• Ice skating across a frozen lake at midnight
• Making and holding eye contact with our minutes-old firstborn child

My memory seems to hold vignettes instead of extended scenes. What about your life's big events? Do you remember moments? Long, detailed stretches? Combinations?

Feeding The Masses

wonder how it would taste on a donut
Inevitable?
...or redundant?
Update (because Syar asked). Ingredients, and I quote: pork, mechanically separated chicken,¹ ham, salt, sugar, water, spices, sodium nitrite.
¹ Why do I have the feeling the meaning of this unfamiliar phrase is worse than I imagine in my present blissful, though no doubt short-lived ignorance?

Woohoo!

I should've saved "Mmm... donuts!" for this post.
Perhaps today is a good day to die um, buy a lottery ticket.
I feel so validated. And yet... why didn't they say "You're a winner!"?

Oh Cruel KrispyKreme, Why Do You Mock Me

All together now: Mmm... donuts.
How my day began:
I feel like such a l0ser!*
* But I'm still way ahead of the pinheads behind the spamments

World Class Time Wasting IIII I

this post has been G.Lo'd like, 5 or 6 times
Don't blame me, I heard it from The Cow. In a post about International Talk Like A Pirate Day, The Cow's minion Anaglyph included a link for a pirate name generator.* Turns out that site - stupidstuff.org - offers many fine (i.e. stupid) time-wasting opportunities.

Different appetite? Try a Ninja Burger. Look around - there's much amusement to be found - then order a nice, reasonably priced meal for yourself and your email-enabled friends. Pay attention though, and don't anger the ninjas. You've been warned.

I'll leave you with some reminders. Cate's birthday is the first part of next week (the 12th), and fantabulous Sydney girl Jen's "golden" birthday is the 23rd. And! the 27th of this month is Anaglyph's birthday; think I herd The Cow say "Cake." All I'm going to say is "do the right thing." And while you're enjoying your weekend, please send kind thoughts my way; I'll be working. :-/

One more thing. Sept. 27 is someone else's birthday as well: our one and only Radioactive Son, Adamantium Jam. Hmm, perhaps it's time for a Radioactive Fam post?

* I'm Harpoon Harry The Horrible. Go to The Cow and get yours.

Spamments Welcome

what can I say I'm easily amused
Twice a year many thousands of motorcyclists make their way to Daytona Beach, FL to attend Bike Week in March, and Biketoberfest in July. Just kidding! the second one happens in October. Collectively referred to as "bikers" these colorful men and women certainly fuel the local economy, but not everyone is happy to see them. Bikers are synonymous with excessive noise, indecent exposure - e.g. enormous beer guts, hairy butt cracks...and the guys look even worse* - and tons of trash left for someone else to clean up. Because of this persistent negative image, many places hang out signs saying "Bikers Welcome" or the more flamboyant "Welcome Bikers" so visitors know where they're welcome (to spend their money).

I'm thinking bikers and comment spam, or "spamments," have a lot in common. Since I personally have nothing against bikers - with or without hairy butt cracks - I'm officially putting up the ol' Spamments Welcome sign. I'm sure this will all make sense someday.
* Just kidding! No one notices the guys.
This is a work of fiction. Real bikers aren't like this. Except for the noise, maybe.

Coincidence?

everyone knows denial = defensive
Omar regularly and vehemently denies any interest whatsoever in gardening. It's no big deal I'm sure; a few such accusations were made in a few weblog posts by a few people scattered around the globe. Yet when I see promo pictures like this, I worry.Omar - I've always believed you. And I'm sure the dozens of comments (attributed to me) scattered around the (admittedly global) internet saying otherwise are simply evil fabrications. Please ignore them.

Aside: No one should be surprised to learn Cate and Glo started the whole "Omar is a girly gardener" thread.

Tiny Mouse, London Style

Centi... that's metric, right?
Speaking of feet, here's what Londoner Aaron Balick found when he tracked down the "mouse" skittering around behind his TV: a 9-inch long centipede, Scolopendra gigantea. Gotta wonder about the next of kin, and I don't mean Mr. Balick's.
Source: AP on Yahoo.